Ah…..springtime is in the air. It is this time of year when we remember as Clevelanders, why we suffer through long cold winters. Arguably, we have the best spring, summer, and fall seasons in the country. Our thoughts turn to the outdoor sports, such as baseball and golf among others. Today we are going to talk about my goofy golf suit.
As I’ve stated in the past, I am blessed with a great family. Every year my cousin Ronnie ( a.k.a. Big ) puts together a family golf outing, which starts with 18 holes, and ends with a family, friends cookout. Every year i wear an outrageous outfit, trying to outdo the year before. The hands down winner so far, by far, is the goofy golf suit.
I got the outfit from a fellow Progressive worker, who originally bought it as a Halloween costume about five years ago. As I was thinking about what to wear to the next outing, I remember him wearing it to our office Halloween party. I thought it would bring the laugh I was hoping to bring to everyone. However, I had a slight dilemma. That year’s outing was scheduled at one of the stuffiest, highbrow, golf clubs in northeast Ohio. What are my chances this upscale club would escort me off the links on the tip of a boot in my behind.
Even though I including a pic, I must describe the details of the suit. Starting from the ground up, I’m wearing hiking boots with green laces in one, and orange in the other. White knee high socks meet the bottom of my Scottish plaid golf style knickers. A white dress shirt is under a vest, which is made from green astroturf, with actual size plastic golf balls as buttons. I am also wearing a tie made from green astroturf with a golf ball as a tie pin. The outfit is topped off (literally) with a round, French tam style hat. The hat is made from astroturf made to look like a putting green. Protruding from the middle of it is a flag pin. Attached to the pin is a 2 inch long invisible wire with a plastic golf ball on the other end so it looks like its on the green waiting to be putted in the hole.
Sunday morning 8:00 am sharp I arrive at the course with the suit already on. I’m in pretty bad shape already because I was on West Sixth street indulging in adult beverages until 5:00am. As I approached the club’s office to pay for my round of golf, I can see two impeccably dressed older gentleman behind the counter, truly representing the class of this course. I stopped a moment, trying to muster some testicular fortitude to open the door and meet my fate. As I opened the door the two gentleman immediately looked up…to be continued soon